It's that time of year again.

Christmas was amazing. I got everything I asked for and more. I'd tell you what I got, but the list is pretty big. Just take my word for it. I will tell you though, that Chris bought me a diamond heart necklace. Don't be too jealous. I know I have an amazing boyfriend.

I stayed at my dad's for Christmas Eve and then stayed at my mom's for Christmas day. We had a Christmas party at my mom's and my mom told me to invite Chris, so I did. My mom bought Bacardi and Malibu Rum, so I brought up some Bacardi for me and Chris to my room and we had about 4 shots each. I think. All I know is I was buzzing like no other and that I've discovered a new love for drunk sex. Well anyway, we were doing our thing when all the sudden I heard him say those three words very quietly and I was in some what denial he said it, so I ignored it. He later said it again and I asked him if he was sure and he had said he's been trying to tell me and that he was going to tell me earlier when he gave me my gift. I wasn't sure what to say back and to be perfectly honest I don't even remember what I had said in return. In fact, I'm not even sure if he meant it or not considering he was a little out of it. He did say it again though when he left that night and me being caught off guard I simply said, "You too". He hasn't said it since though, so who knows. Maybe his penis got mixed up with his heart. When he got home and was sick from the drinking and I felt like shit the next day. So I guess you can say we won't be sipping on Bacardi any time soon. Eh?

Last night I had a get together over at my dad's and it was a lot better than I imagined. It was Me, of course, Chris, Jamie, Justin, Tyler, and Justin's cousin. It was fun and we basically all just chilled and drank. I did about 7 shots that night and had about a glass and a half of wine. I wasn't too fucked up or anything. Me and Chris did it again, plus another 6 times and 6 different condoms. Now that was the best sex I've ever had and he said it was, "The best sex I've ever had in my life." So go me! I don't have the pictures right now, but I'll maybe post with some at a later time.

Tonight Jamie and Ciara are spending the night and tomorrow we are going camping bright and early with the group. I'm hoping this will be the highlight of my Christmas break and that we all have a wicked fun time. After all, I have been looking forward to this for weeks. I'll keep you posted.

Jingle, Jingle, all the way.

So, it's the day before Christmas Eve. This is supposed to be a happy time of year, right? Wrong. Well for me at least.

Last night Chris and I got in a fight over the stupidest thing ever. We were on the phone and this guy Mark kept texting me, and I didn't want to be rude so I texted him back. Chris told me to stop texting while we were on the phone and I didn't and it escalated into him not wanting me to talk to this guy period. Why? Because I told him what the guy had been saying to me. Mark was telling me that I should have my boyfriend and have him on the side. Mistake on my part. I should have just kept my trap shut. At least when he asked me if there was anything about him that bothered me, I got to put it out in the open that it bothers me that he talks to this big nosed girl Taradactal. And I made sure he was aware that he can not cuss at me, ever, not once, not at all. It isn't right.

We're alright now, we discussed it and talked it over and things are running smoothly again.

This morning I was helping my dad pack up Sandy's things so we can get them sent to her, and he told me that he might have to move in order to keep his job. I was beyond upset. Really, this is a lot to deal with. He told me that he might have to move to either Georgia- ew, Florida, or Houston- again, ew. Florida I could cope with. It's just Georgia or Houston I'm not too crazy about.

We'll see what happens. It all takes time.

Bang, Bang, Bang and take your money

Fifteen days without a single blog. How disappointing. I swear I've been meaning to write, but something always prevents me in being in that specific mood to share my feelings on this great blog of mine.



Oh, where to start. Life isn't too entertaining lately, just the norm. Chris and I are good as usual. Under and above the covers that is. Sex is not as great as everybody makes it out to be, but for some anonymous reason it's hard to do without. Sex is a mystery that's for sure. I do feel that we have connected on a different level of comfort, as completely corny as that sounds. It's like once you've seen each other with out clothes, what else is there to see? You've already seen the outer structure there's nothing left to hide.

Blah, blah, blah too much talk about sex. New topic.

Strangely I feel really distant from Ciara ever since we've both had boyfriends. I'm not exactly a big fan of her lover boy. I find him to be a bit over obsessive and he seems really insecure about their relationship. That annoys me. This is hard for me to say, but he has a some what immature/perveness to him and its starting to wear off on Ciara. The immature part is at least. It's stupid, but she like burps more inappropriately and it's disgusting. Honestly, I can't deal with that for some odd reason.

I have to jet, grocery shopping, book shopping, and I have to get Chris another v-neck sweater from JCrew.

Outties.

No longer a V-Card member.

My weekend was extremely unexpected, and something that I will likely never forget. Major things happened that will stick with me forever.

Friday was some-what normal. Not something I'll remember for the rest of my life, we'll get to the juicy stuff later. Ciara and I got ready and Chris picked us up and took us to the Wendy's in Southlake where everybody was. Everybody- Justin, Brad, Hunter, Jesse, Zach, Carrissa, and some Bailey girl. A whole bunch of Southlake kids showed up because Brad and this guy were supposed to fight. We drove to about a hundred and one different places and the whole thing ended up not going through because Brad backed out. All of that was basically for nothing, but it was fun hanging out with a bunch of people.

Ciara came over after, we slept in the media room because we got a new big screen TV. On Saturday we woke up and made Chinese food and a cake. I cooked! And it was yummy too!

I later get a call from my dad saying that I need to pack my things because we would be staying in a hotel that night. I was in utter shock, yet confused because I had no earthly clue what was going on and he wouldn't tell me anything. He picked us up and told us that Sandy wanted the house to herself for the weekend so she could pack her things. My dad respected her, and we ended up staying at the Hilton right outside of Dallas that night. It so weird to be in a hotel when you're so close to home. It just wasn't right. After we got settled in to our hotel, we went to the North Park Mall in Dallas, and I just about died. Every store in my rich and oh-so-fabulous dreams was in that Mall. Burberry, Juicy Couture, Ralph Lauren, Niemen Marcus, and so on.... It was so hard to not go into those stores because I knew I'd want anything and everything in them. The only thing I bought that day was Chris a charcoal sweater from Jcrew. I still want to buy him something else yet, I just haven't decided what.

Sunday was alright. We went to the Parks Mall and I got my cross-country banquet dress. I love it. It's really classic and Hepburn looking. After the mall we went to Main Event and my brothers played laser tag, and then they bowled. I wasn't up for it though. It just wasn't my weekend. Then we went to Barnes and Nobles and I got two books, Twilight, and Go Ask Alice. I'm hoping they are great novels.

As always, Sunday night ended with Chris. When he first came over I was still really upset from my weekend and just got a message on Myspace from Steph, and things aren't looking too good with her. She was a good friend though. It's hard to give those up. I ended up crying. I felt bad to put that burden on Chris, but I couldn't hold back my tears.

Well this is where it gets juicy. We were doing our thing and everything was perfect. It went from watching television with a French Vanilla candle lit, to turning off the TV, blowing out the candle, getting under the covers, and getting undressed. Ah, the romance. Then out of no where my mother knocks on the door, and I yell, "Hold on! Hold on!" He hurries and puts on his sweater and I put on my t-shirt and pants. There was no use in putting on his pants too since he was already half way under the covers. I answer the door and she asks Chris and I if we knew somebody we could give this 'color changing candle' to, which she's holding in her hand. I seriously thought that was a joke of some sort. There I was, standing there, bra-less trying to shoo my mother out, while laughing from disbelief. She has never once came to my room, and the one time she does, Chris and I are actually doing something. Things weren't that weird after that happened, so we continued on with our doing. He did his thing to me and then I returned the favor, and then I had this urge in the back of my mind to have sex. It felt as if it was the only way to let go of everything that had happened to me in the past two days. So it happened and it hurt at first when he stuck it in, but when he fully got it in I realized why people get so hyped up about sex. It's great. And I feel extremely weird that I've had it. I planned on waiting til I was 16 and me and him were together for a while, but I honestly couldn't help it. It happened without a condom.

I said, "Do you have protection?"

"No, this honestly never crossed my mind. I never thought this would happen."

Once he pulled out.

He said, "I think we should wait until we have a condom."

"Yeah I think so too."

"I can tell you one thing though...."

"What's that?"

"You're definitely not a virgin anymore."

Then we went on for a little more until he had to pull out because there was no way in hell he was going to bust inside of me. I am so not ready to be a mom.

And that's where it sunk in. I no longer have my v-card. I can no longer say I haven't had sex before. I do think I rushed into it and I was worried that because we've only been together for a little over a month, that our relationship would be like those that are ruined or based on sex. I don't want that. It did make me a little happier to hear that with his ex-girlfriends, they had had sex about two weeks into the relationship. They still lasted a long time. I'm hoping we can do the same.

My mom also hasn't said anything to me about us taking so long to answer the door. I love the fact that she's so naive.