Pointless Caption.

I felt as if this was an appropriate time to catch up on my blogging. I don’t really update as much as I used to do. It seems that the times that I actually do right in here are used on problems and issues I’m going through. Fortunately, I have very little problems right now.

Chris and I are good so far. I hate to admit it, but I did look at his old myspace comments and seeing comments from his ex-girlfriends isn’t as easy to cope with as I thought it might be. It almost seems as if the things they used to say to each other, are the same things him and I say. But then again, it could be the similar to the way guys I used to talk to. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I mean it shouldn’t bother me and I’m probably making a fuss over nothing, I just don’t want to have any doubts. You know? And to add on to that, the other night we had like a serious, serious talk. He told me he’s had sex with two other girls before and I let him know that I’m still a virgin. I was kind of disappointed because I want my first time to be with someone that hasn’t had sex either. I’m jumping to conclusions though. Who’s to say that me and him will ever have sex? He looks at me as a really innocent person and his exact words were, “I was talking to Justin before we were even going out and I told him that I would be okay if the only thing we ever did was hold hands, that’s how much I just wanted to be with you”. Obviously that’s a little slow for me and I wouldn’t mind if things went a little farther, but I would really like to wait it out and not jump into things. It’s the only way I won’t get bored with him. I think that him being honest and telling me straight up helped me to be more understanding though. Maybe this is a good thing.

Anyway, on the brighter side of our relationship. He says that I’ve helped him not want to get stoned all the time and that some how I’ve helped him quit. He hasn’t smoked in 7 days and I couldn’t be happier for him. Being that he usually gets high about 2 times a day, this is a huge improvement . He also says that I’ve turned him into a better person. I wasn’t sure I had that effect on people, but I’m surely not complaining.

He went to San Antonio yesterday and he’s coming back today. I haven’t really seen him this weekend except for Friday, but I’m glad. Having my space from him will most likely make me like him more because we aren’t together at that moment and when he comes back we can catch up. Honestly, I just don’t want to get tired of him like I do with every other guy. I think I’m getting better at dealing with that though.

Right now I’m at my dad’s house and it seems like there is so much tension over here and I find it really hard to deal with. My step mom has been making more conversation with me than normal. I don’t really know how to respond when she talks to me because my dad just sits there with a weird silence. I wonder if she knows that I know?

This coming Friday I’m supposed to hang out with a good friend of mine, April. Smoot invited us over to his house since his parents will be gone and we can drink and smoke. Might I add that Smoot is a very cute guy that has already graduated. I know I’ll probably want to hang out with Chris, but hopefully he can trust me that I won’t screw things up between the both of us. Friday should definitely be fun though.