All we've got's a point of view and there's too many questions.

I all of the sudden had an urge to update and talk about my Friday night which was so totally amazing.

I went to the Fossil Ridge vs. Denton Ryan playoff game with Ciara, Jamie, Andy, and Josh. We won the game 31-20, and everybody charged the field- including me. I was so scared when I jumped out of the stands, but it was way worth it. Afterwards, Ciara, Jamie, Andy, Brad, and I all left and headed over to Hunter's party. It was kinda big. For the most part I played beer pong and a little bit of flip cup. I also talked to Frannie and we are supposedly on good terms now. I'm relieved in a way. Drama is overrated. She has changed a lot. She gave this guy RJ (#1 defensive linemen in the nation) a hand job in his car when he was taking her and Kristina home? I don't know what she was thinking. He doesn't seem to be too clean and I'm sure that was a mistake on her part. Her and Kristina were also making out in front of him in a room. What if she's lesbian? I mean, she never actually likes guys, so I guess it could be a possibility.

Okay, getting off that subject. I don't really remember much, but I know we went Wendy's and when I was there I went in the bathroom and threw up. Disgusting. It felt like we were in there for 84 years, and I was constantly calling out, "We need #31, #31 please!". Goodness... Ciara and her honey butter chicken biscuits. We arrived back at the party and whatever happened from then on is beyond me. All I know is that I passed out on the ground around 4 in the morning and Brad came and laid down with me. I'm not sure he's aware that I have a boyfriend whom I'm very happy with. Brad and I have a past and it should stay that way.

I might update with pictures later. It was so good to hang out with friends and have a good time without waking up with regrets from things I shouldn't have done.

I can't wait for the week to end. Hints Fall Break!

I didn't wake up today thinking that this would be a bad day, but to my surprise it was. Even though waking up completely exhausted might have been a hint. The tiredness was mostly because I had Chris over last night. I was told by my mother that he was to leave at 10, but time flys and he didn't leave til 11:30. She didn't notice though. Back to my 'horrible' day. During first period cross-country we did stairs in front of the whole football team which I'm sure they got a kick out of. Then after that, Coach Putter thought it would be nice to make me run extra because I mistakenly wore a purple shirt instead of green. So, when I was running he shouted to April and I, "I know you guys aren't the best athletes...." I'm shocked I didn't burst into tears right then and there. That wasn't the nicest thing to hear especially after I was pissed off about running extra and the awesome 10 minutes I got to get ready.

I think I made the right decision to skip 2nd period. I really needed some venting time.

Chris and I got in our first 'argument' I suppose you could say last Thursday before I went to our last varsity football game against Birdville. Which we won by the way. Woo District Champs! I didn't invite him to the game with me because I wanted my last official hoo-ha with my friends and I didn't want to have to worry about leaving him out or just paying attention to him. He was mad that I kept making other plans. I couldn't handle the tension though so during the game I texted him and apologized. Justin told me later that night that he had thrown his pipe out of the window when they were driving supposedly for me. I was happy to hear that, but he did smoke that night. I'm sure by reading this, he sounds like a horrible person, but he's really a good guy. Honest. For example, last week I came home from school to a dozen white roses and a teddy bear. Adorable right?

Oh and my mom has decided to get me a councilor, so I'm not sure how much longer I'll be using this to express my feelings. I think I just need someone to talk to about all my problems and help me get rid of all my annoyances. That would be really nice.

Pointless Caption.

I felt as if this was an appropriate time to catch up on my blogging. I don’t really update as much as I used to do. It seems that the times that I actually do right in here are used on problems and issues I’m going through. Fortunately, I have very little problems right now.

Chris and I are good so far. I hate to admit it, but I did look at his old myspace comments and seeing comments from his ex-girlfriends isn’t as easy to cope with as I thought it might be. It almost seems as if the things they used to say to each other, are the same things him and I say. But then again, it could be the similar to the way guys I used to talk to. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. I mean it shouldn’t bother me and I’m probably making a fuss over nothing, I just don’t want to have any doubts. You know? And to add on to that, the other night we had like a serious, serious talk. He told me he’s had sex with two other girls before and I let him know that I’m still a virgin. I was kind of disappointed because I want my first time to be with someone that hasn’t had sex either. I’m jumping to conclusions though. Who’s to say that me and him will ever have sex? He looks at me as a really innocent person and his exact words were, “I was talking to Justin before we were even going out and I told him that I would be okay if the only thing we ever did was hold hands, that’s how much I just wanted to be with you”. Obviously that’s a little slow for me and I wouldn’t mind if things went a little farther, but I would really like to wait it out and not jump into things. It’s the only way I won’t get bored with him. I think that him being honest and telling me straight up helped me to be more understanding though. Maybe this is a good thing.

Anyway, on the brighter side of our relationship. He says that I’ve helped him not want to get stoned all the time and that some how I’ve helped him quit. He hasn’t smoked in 7 days and I couldn’t be happier for him. Being that he usually gets high about 2 times a day, this is a huge improvement . He also says that I’ve turned him into a better person. I wasn’t sure I had that effect on people, but I’m surely not complaining.

He went to San Antonio yesterday and he’s coming back today. I haven’t really seen him this weekend except for Friday, but I’m glad. Having my space from him will most likely make me like him more because we aren’t together at that moment and when he comes back we can catch up. Honestly, I just don’t want to get tired of him like I do with every other guy. I think I’m getting better at dealing with that though.

Right now I’m at my dad’s house and it seems like there is so much tension over here and I find it really hard to deal with. My step mom has been making more conversation with me than normal. I don’t really know how to respond when she talks to me because my dad just sits there with a weird silence. I wonder if she knows that I know?

This coming Friday I’m supposed to hang out with a good friend of mine, April. Smoot invited us over to his house since his parents will be gone and we can drink and smoke. Might I add that Smoot is a very cute guy that has already graduated. I know I’ll probably want to hang out with Chris, but hopefully he can trust me that I won’t screw things up between the both of us. Friday should definitely be fun though.